Special Report: Chinese Man Breath

Chinese man breath is a formidable evolutionary defense mechanism used by Chinese men to ward off their natural enemy: sassy black lady bus drivers. Chinese man breath, however, has its most devastating effect on the innocent, which is anyone within a 30 foot radius of a confrontation between a Chinese man holding a garbage bag full of cans and a sassy black lady bus driver who is “tired” of his “bullshit”.

For those fortunate enough to have yet to incur its wrath, Chinese man breath smells like a terrible, digested stew of what Chinese men really eat. This does not include any sort of delectable egg custard pie or cute little dumpling, as the Chinese man propaganda machine would have you believe. The gruesome reality of the Chinese man diet is that it consists mainly of odious fare such as dried squid, thousand year old kidney stones and your soul.

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